Friday, December 28, 2012

quick "woe is me" then moving forward

So my first internship is done.  Phew!  I didn't have very many clients but I sat in on other therapists' sessions and learned a lot.  Placing me for my second internship has been a really rough road.  

First of all, I work.  Somewhat full time.  So that limits when I can go into my internship.  I'm taking two classes this semester; that means I need to be on campus twice a week.  This also limits my internship hours. Because of all this, no matter how flexible I am in regards to where I go, it needs to fit into my schedule.  And no matter how many times my professor asks me if my work schedule can be any more flexible, I have to work and the next "flexible" step I take is to not work at all.  And quite frankly, that's not an option.  

I really wanted to go to a outpatient clinic called Linden Oaks Sexual Abuse Treatment Services (LOSATS).  I really, really wanted to go there.  And they were willing to take me for 10 of my 20 hours a week.  Jackpot!!!  So my professor and I found a residential treatment facility (where, I might add, I use to work) that was willing to have me for the remaining 10 hours.  Score!  

Then the residential place backed out for reasons unknown.  So we were working on finding someplace else to augment my first choice.  But I still had my first choice, so life was great.  

I still had my first choice.  Notice the past tense on that verb.  Had.  Not has, but had.

 Due to staffing issues they can no longer honor their commitment.  When I read that email, I felt like I had been punched in the gut.  That was the site I really wanted.  That's the population that I want to work with and I wanted some experience with them.  I wanted to learn how to help.  I wanted it so bad.  

Now that it's so close to next semester I have very few choices.  My professor gave me some options but three of the four included at least a 45 min drive.  One way!  That does not fit into my already packed life.  It just is not possible for me to have to commute roughly 1 and 1/2 hours for a job I'm not being paid to do.  The last option is super close to my house.  It is working with people (hopefully mainly teens) who have dual-diagnosis of mental illness (MI) and chemical dependency (CD).  Mind you, I have little to no experience with CD, but at least I would be working with teens.  

Ok, pseudo-Jackpot.

Then I find out that my potential supervisor is not the strongest supervisor and that previous students have had a mix of experiences with said person.  

So not only am I working at a site that wasn't even a choice of mine and makes me slightly uneasy due to my inexperience but I'll probably be working for someone who may not be helpful or encouraging.

Big whopping sarcastic awesome!

On a happier note, I dyed my hair black.  I'm surprised how much I love it.  All Christmas day,  #1 Brother kept referring to me as "Evil Jess."

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