Monday, September 5, 2011

get ready for some honesty

As you've read (over and over and over again) I'm going back to school.  Tomorrow.  And from my understanding, this semester is going to be all about digging into myself and my feelings and emotional issues that I may have.  However, I have a really hard time even being honest with myself when it comes to how I am *really* feeling.   So I have decided that this is the place to start with honesty.  Y'all don't really know me.  I can really say whatever I want and I'll never have to look in you in the eye knowing that you know how I really feel about something.  And I can say that with absolute assurance- other than Michelle who I actually know and will actually see.  Ya know how when someone says something "bad" or negative about themselves or their lot in life you always feel obligated to reassure them.  I am giving you an open ended out.  Please don't try to give me any positive anything if I happen to say something about any negative emotions I'm having.

 K?  Awesome!

With all that being said:   I've never really failed at anything.  Ever.  In my life.  Other than my driver's test, which I did fail the first time I took it.  What if I fail at school?  And I don't mean what if I fail a class (although that would suck).  I mean what if I'm just no good at all of it?  What if I can't handle going full time while working full time?  What if I just can't handle any of it?

And like I said, I don't want any "you can do it" comments; I'm just trying to get use to the fact that I'm going to have to spill my guts to people and learn to be honest with myself.

1 comment:

Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies said...

Hi Goldilocks! You actually made me choke on my drink this morning.

I found this really amazing quote on Pinterest the other day that said this: It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not.

I think this is true for so many of us.